hi, chicken? it’s me.

I have no shame in admitting that I have spent a good half an hour trying to find a website so I can complain about my salad not having the requested roasted chicken inside it. I have since come to the conclusion that there is no website, that this popular salad place has opted to go without a website in the digital age.

Never mind for I shall offer to make them a website. Develop a relationship with them. Get invited to their Christmas parties and family gatherings. Then, when they least suspect it, a small box appears in the left hand corner, just as I had designed it. It’s a photo of me, looking like someone who just ate a salad sans poultry. A caption appears:

‘Hi, I’d like to complain about this salad not having the roasted chicken I ordered? Yeah. Yeah it was really disappointing not having that extra protein to balance out the healthy. Yeah okay I’ll hold’.

*do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do*

Revenge is a dish best served with chicken, and don’t you forget that!

God I loved that chicken I never had.

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