I’m 24-years-old. I’ve been to many countries. I’ve lived in some of them, learnt the languages of others but I’ve never been to the country where my grandparents were born. I’ve tried to go, lift my feet from the ground and fly, but every time the declaration is made, a bomb is dropped, a bullet is fired, people die, violence springs up and I can’t seem to will myself to go.
There are clashes in Beirut now. I planned to go in September. I keep thinking about what I’ll do if I ever get there, but my dreams are marred by bloodshed.